Mother's Day

On the eve of my first Mother's Day, I have been able to sit back and reflect on how I have changed as a person. Being a mother is something I have imagined for a long time. Every girl does. But I never really knew how I would feel. Being a mom is the most precious gift God could give you. And my little Chunky Monkey has taught me more about life than any other experience. Ive learned so much about being selfless and patient. About loving, caring, teaching, believing. Life is just beautiful in the eyes of Hudson. But at the same time, I feel like I have to make sure he is kept safe from all the hurt in the world.

I have so much respect for good parents. And I try to look at them for encouragement and learn from them. I sympathize with the woman at the store with the screaming toddler. Instead of looking at her with judgemental eyes, I look at her with, "I know how you feel" eyes.  Things that used to bother me like spanking, cursing at your children, abuse, neglecting , insulting bother me way more than they used to. And they weigh heavy on my heart. I saw a woman spank her child at the store today, and I just felt so bad for that child. It is humiliating, and I never want Hudson to feel that. It is just amazing to me how much stronger my feelings are toward mothers and children now that I am one.

I also value my mother so much more. I have wondered how she got through those hard days, and then realize, I will also survive them. I think back to everything she has done for me to be the person I am, and I would not be the same without her guidance, love, commitment.

So mom, thank you. Thank you for all the dance classes, the donuts after heartbreaks, the time you took me and my friends out TPing. Thank you for your commitment to my dancing and how far I got. Thank you for all the performances you attended, even with bronchitis. Thank you for allowing me to be the mother I want to be, while still guiding me in the right direction. Thank you for helping me make decisions, teaching me to cook, comforting me, bringing me back to reality, crying with me. We have been through some very rough times. But together, we have survived. And more than anything, thank you for being such a great Honey. All of your help with Hudson, I really couldnt do this without you.

This is dedicated to you, mom.
Happy Mother's Day.