What no one tells you about parenthood!

1. Baby poop stains everything. Period. It just gets everywhere and never comes out. Oxyclean is the only thing that I have found works so far. And its just a sticky mess. Why doesnt anyone tell you to prepare for this? No one ever said, "always put a blanket down over everything when changing a poopy diaper". Why???

2. Baby spit up.  I want to talk about it. Hudson should get an olympic medal for the amount of feet he can successfully project his spit up. And why is it that he spits up the most on the days that I vacuum??Also, after his bath tonight, I got him all ready for bed. I picked him up in his clean jammies, and "blehh"... spit up. All over his clean self.

3. Post partum hormones, also known as, the Devil himself. Im a hot mess. I thought it was bad during pregnancy... pshh! I swear, I could turn green at any moment.

4. Breast pump. We have a love/hate relationship. Somedays, I seriously contemplate setting it on fire. I love it because I am nourishing my child and helping him grow. He's so healthy and it is impowering to know that I am keeping him alive, essentually. BUT, sitting there for basically 3 hours a day, drives me batty. And it hurts! No one tells you that you will have cracks on your nips the size of Texas or that you will bleed!

5. You will take the blame for everything...forever. Ive never felt so guilty in my life. I feel at
 fault when Hudson is in pain, or I accidently scratch him with my ring, or when i have cried for quiet. Sometimes I go to bed thinking I could have done better.

6. Hair loss and oily"ness". What the heck... WHY?? I am shedding hair like a 200 lb Saint Bernard! And i might as well just wash my hair with olive oil. What the flippin' heck is going on??

7. Baby clothes are annoying. They are so not made correctly, and why all the snaps??? Dont they know that my child kicks at a record speed while I am trying to snap all of them??

8. Baby music. I permanently have all of Hudson's toy jingles in my head. All the time.

9. Emotional. Everything about having a baby brings out emotions you never thought you could feel. You are happy, tired, scared, unsure, all at the same time. No one can explain this. It is just too hard to explain until it happens to you.

10. Lastly, no one tells you how much better the world is looking through it from a baby's eyes. Everything is so new, hopeful, and amazing to Hudson. Everything else seems so unimportant after having a baby. Little things i used to worry about are a thing of the past.

Nope. No one tells you these things. You know why?? Because its just more fun to find out for yourself :)

love, J and H


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